which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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