but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
