508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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