I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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