sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
