I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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