dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
