make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
