Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize