So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
