The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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