when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
