I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize