My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
