Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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