In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
