she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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