i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
