Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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