I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
