Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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