carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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