its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
