i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
