They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
