there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
