i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
