Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Are my feet made of real feet?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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