the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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