I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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