There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
