I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Randomize
