it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
