last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
