I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
