***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
