well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
