We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
