so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
