Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
