honey bunches of taint.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
