rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
