How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We got so high we made milksteak
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
