Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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