just come out here and I will go home with you...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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