tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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