got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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