God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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