I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
