shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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