grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
