help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
