we have pet lesbian snakes
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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