I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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