....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
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