I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
