your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
