That's when you crack a 10am beer
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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