I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
