Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
